Trying to figure out who I am, what I supposed to be doign here...etc... So confused! Does anyone have a clue what I am supposed to be doing in Earth? I was reading this article the other day, anbd I came to realize that I am supposed to be happy. And that's it, just be happy. God, Jeova, or whatever you called Him, just wants us to be happy.
So I am here trying to find myself and now trying to be a appy human being..... Oh my! how hard this job is. yesterday I went to a Doctor and found out I may not be able to procriate, which sucks bad! I did not get sad, upset or even cried, I could figured out my emotions, I can't describe it either... Can't explain what I felt. And again, I'm thinking what the F##$% I am supposed to be doing on Earth? Can't get a answer, so I went back to reading and I decided to try to go to India and learn how to meditate. The only problem is I can't jsut leave my job, my house, my dogs and my husband and go.... And my crazed mind started: " Well if you can't even procriate, why not jsut leave everyone and go search for yourself around the globe!" And then I felt sad, And I actually cried a bit.
I don't know if I would be able to just leave everything and go, but I really want to do it now! Tomorrow It may change, but today, all I want is to leave, for no reason, the Doctor thing really does not bug me as much I think it should. I can just adopt.
Finding one self is hard job! It is to complex and I am not sure I am able to keep this going. But I am affraid that if I just let it go I 'll miss it in a couple of years, and then I 'll most likely leave it all and go search for only God kowns what.
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